I recently read a New York Times article by Melissa Kirsch that piqued my interest. It was titled “Unfinished Business.”

The question she poses is whether we can sit without discomfort, stress, or anxiety while we’re in the process of completing a task, project, or goal. I would take it a step further and ask whether we can remain comfortable throughout the striving and effort that completion requires. Better yet, can we actually find pleasure and satisfaction in even the most arduous and challenging endeavors before they’re finished?

Ms. Kirsch reminds us that our culture prizes productivity, speed, and an ever-growing list of accomplishments as measures of success. Rather than finding patience in the process, we often react to our feelings of agitation and restlessness until the task is finally “done.” Our technology reinforces this mindset, constantly prompting us to finish this, close that, and check off another item on the list. We experience a brief sense of satisfaction and accomplishment—until the next challenge appears and we’re right back where we started. It seems like an endless cycle of temporary homeostasis, or perhaps fleeting joy.

What if we considered how much time we actually spend in that relaxed state of closure compared with the time we spend working toward it? In which state does your mind spend more time? Since life unfolds in both places, how much of it do we spend feeling satisfied and content?

Recently, I ordered an outdoor tabletop and storage unit to place beside my grill. It came from Wayfair, so I expected some assembly would be required. Never have I seen so many parts for something so relatively simple! There were countless instances where I had to assemble small components before attaching them to larger pieces—steps that easily could have been completed at the factory without adding a single inch to the shipping box.

As I caught myself complaining about the unnecessary steps and the maddeningly ambiguous diagrams, I decided to take a break. During that pause, I realized something. Despite making mistakes that required disassembly and starting over, and despite assembling parts that could have arrived pre-built, I was actually enjoying the challenge. Despite it becoming apparent that I wound’t be completing the unit in the time I had allotted, solving each problem myself was becoming more satisfying than simply getting the project finished. In fact, I realized I would probably appreciate the completed unit more than if I had paid someone else to assemble it.

That realization changed everything. Instead of resenting the “extra” work, I became grateful for it.

Every time I work with tools, I become a little more confident and a little more skilled. I learn which tool to use, when to use it, and how to do the job better the next time. I also enjoy solving puzzles, so deciphering diagrams with nothing more than letters and numbers became a worthwhile mental exercise. I’m pleased with the finished product—but I’m also looking forward to the next project.

This experience happened to work for me. Of course, someone with little interest or aptitude for this kind of work—and who has the time and financial means to hire someone else—might wisely choose that route. There’s nothing wrong with that.

But for the many tasks, projects, and goals over which we have less control, perhaps the better choice is to discover the benefits hidden within the process rather than merely endure it until it’s over. We can spend our lives waiting for completion so we can enjoy brief moments of contentment, or we can learn to appreciate the work itself.

To me, that’s the real choice. We can postpone our happiness until our unfinished business is finally finished, or we can learn to sit with the discomfort, accept it with patience, and recognize that much of life’s meaning is found not at the finish line, but along the way.

“Maturity says: I don’t need closure to choose peace.” –

-Anonymous

POV

I’m in a storage cubby in the eaves of my house, removing very old insulation. It’s over 90 degrees outside and set to broil inside this narrow space – a space too confined to stand up. Naturally, I’m dressed appropriately for the job, which makes it even more uncomfortable. Why I’m here at this moment is a lesson in poor planning.

Nevertheless, while struggling to complete this task, I am actually thinking about Hen’s post. Can I learn to live with unfinished business and leave this for cooler weather? Can I find satisfaction and focus on the process?

Well, I’d love to put this task off for the Fall, but that would mean putting off installation of the carpet squares I ordered for the connected room. In turn that would mean delaying the task of hoisting the new bookcase up the stairs,  which is now sitting in its boxed state in entry porch. 

So, living with unfinished business is certainly possible – and even desirable – as I wipe the sweat out of my eyes. Unfortunately, it’s already been unfinished for far too long. And what’s never started… etc., etc.

Okay, so how about finding some satisfaction in the process? Well, first, I’m thankful that I can still do work like this. Someday soon, I won’t be able (another reason not to live with unfinished business). At the moment, however, I’m not finding my joy. I do understand Hen’s thrust: look for the benefit in a job that may not be desirable or possible to complete quickly. After all, being miserable and frustrated does not improve a bad situation.

I have now finished the process of loading the contractor bags with old, rotten fiberglass insulation, removed the furring strips that sort of held it up, and vacuumed the floor, walls, and joists. Soaked with sweat, but finally able to stand straight, I feel satisfaction that the worst is behind me. While the whole project is not finished, I can take pleasure in completing small steps along the way. I suppose it’s all in your Point of View, which is what Hen was describing.

Hen usually ends with a quote… here’s one that informs my POV.

“Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do”

Mark Twain, Author

The End Result

Let me say right at the beginning that I get more pleasure when the job is done than when I am doing it……..with one exception!  If the job is something I enjoy doing, then that is a different story.  I will explain!  Like Wally, I have many of those jobs that I dread doing but have to get done.  Case in point, combining two households requires making space where space was never a problem before.  I direct you to my garage.  It is a nice 2 car garage in need of a new electronic operating door.  Over the years I have lived here the garage became home to boxes of things to be disposed of when I got a chance.  Also included in the garage inventory was broken or unused furniture, many odd pieces, bookshelves, 3 legged chairs, anyway you get the picture. Having 2 adult kids I have also become the depository of my son’s cleaning tools from when he lived in NY- various ladders, vacuums, lawn torturing tools et al.  My daughter, having a small house and needing to shed various objects from her house as already mentioned.  The point being, floor space shrank considerably to the point that only a Fiat could fit in on one side of the garage.  Add to the list a variety of buckets, ladders, rakes, shovels etc.  seem to decorate the side walls as well.

Suddenly, my life changes and the garage no longer functions as a utility building but rather a place to store our vehicles, 2 Jeeps!  I would quickly walk past the garage when entering my house from the car with the gnawing knowledge that yes, I have to clear that out.  I will do it tomorrow, as if one day would do the trick.  Already the anxiety of working up to the job is enough stress for me to deal with. Tomorrow comes a few days later and I hold my breath and enter the garage.  Just looking around is enough to choke a horse stress wise. But I have to do it. My partner who often asks if I went to hoarding school, as he believes I have trouble disposing  of things.  He helps me get started.  Here is where some enjoyment comes in.  I start organizing the reusable stuff like furniture pieces, ceramic stuff, tools I haven’t used in years and other various and sundry things and put them out by the curb.  Suddenly a new excitement comes over me every time car lights flash on my window and I run to see someone picking over my junk and loading stuff into his car.  First thing I do each morning is check the curb and the happiness overcomes me when the curb is empty and ready for more stuff.  That part of this job is really fun for me and gives me a good feeling.  I would love it were that all that had to be done but alas, garbage containers await,  I have to make decisions regarding things that I never know if I might need  again!  You never know when you might need a short handled rake, which at one  time had a long handle, to rake an area that you may have to crawl into to clean out.  Is that being unreasonable?  Don’t answer that!

I will end by saying that my garage now fits a Wrangler and a Jeep Cherokee.  I want to finish by saying I am so relived the job is done and the pleasure for me is that it is now a usable garage.  And Like Hen and Wal I too will finish with a quotation………”If I don’t do it, who will?”  My Dad!