Wally, Henry and I have been friends for 60 years. After one of our fraternity reunions many years ago, we met at a local college hangout and came up with the idea of writing a blog. We were all in our late 60’s or early 70’s and felt we had accumulated enough knowledge and experience to share some of our concerns and life experiences that we could help others around our age deal with the new challenges life was throwing at all of us. We gave it a lot of thought and met shortly after to discuss how this would develop. We started by sharing what our individual objectives would be. Hen and Wally wanted to do something for their grandchildren. My objective was a little different. Not having any grandkids my objective was to share experiences that folks our age experience that often hits them unaware. And I thought perhaps sharing how I got through some stuff would help them deal and perhaps calm their concerns since these things hit us by surprise. And so, the last 8 years or so was devoted to that objective for my audience.
I was comfortable sharing my experiences, feelings and concerns about life and relating how I dealt with the surprises. Wally and Henry were more conceptual in their positions and their topics expressed those concepts. I attempted to bring the concepts into life experiences and share any experiences I had related to those concepts. That worked for several years. Recently however, I began to feel like I wasn’t in synch with their ideas and I could tell they were getting frustrated with my responses. After much thought and discussion with them I decided it was time for me to move on. Not sure what that means as far as my writing goes, but I don’t want to frustrate their writing by missing the concepts they were trying to present. I also found as time went on that I was getting more and more frustrated by politics and was trying to figure how to introduce our country’s downhill decline without causing turmoil, so I stepped away from that thought.
In the best interest of all involved, I decided that it was time to bow out gracefully and let Wally and Henry pursue the blog to meet their objectives. To those readers who enjoyed my rejoinders I thank you very much. I thank Wally and Henry for the opportunity I had working on this with them .
Sincerely,
George DeFina
When You Come to the Fork in the Road – Take It!
George has decided to do just that, and maybe he’ll create, find, or imagine a new venue to tell his wonderful stories and even address the political frustrations he wants to write about. I wish him all the best as he ponders his next steps.
Indeed, the three of us met in college and reconnected on an even deeper level when we put pen to paper—or, rather, fingers to keyboard—and navigated seven-plus years together as the Three Old Guys Who Walked into a Bar. We laughed hard, shed a tear or three, listened to each other’s hard times, and celebrated our accomplishments. Before Covid, we met in person regularly and enjoyed exchanging ideas over coffee and cake. We walked in the woods, sat on the porch, and even ventured into local parklands during Covid. Then, after I moved closer to my children and grandchildren and farther from my buddies, we Zoomed!
Around the topic of legacy and how we might pass on all that we’ve learned and who we’ve become, Wal suggested we gather to write. In my quest to leave behind more than just the memories my children hold, I saw this blog as a way to help them not only record my stories and adventures from my perspective, but also, through my musings on familiar and unfamiliar topics, gain a sense of what I believe, what’s important to me, and what I can still learn.
It has been a wonderful adventure and has become a deliciously acquired ritual in my life, one for which I am most grateful.
We all grow and change at different rates and lean toward that which beckons us. So, it’s inevitable that the time has come for two of us to choose one road and one of us to follow another. It was a good run, and now it’s time to begin anew.
I support George’s decision. Rather than continue to struggle over content and process, which drains our energy, we’ve chosen a path that will help each of us regain our focus, passion, and ability to move forward positively. I wish him happiness and good fortune in this next chapter and in the other new things unfolding in his life.
For now, Wal and I will continue to post on the 3oldguys.com blog as we consider new ideas and possibilities along the way.
“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”
—Mandy Hale
Slip-Sliding Away
We forged a project that spanned seven years! That’s pretty good. Most TV series do not last seven seasons. Our cells have all recycled in seven years, so you could say we are different people. (Well, not really).
It is true that we have changed a bit – and our circumstances have certainly changed. Hen is in a new location; Geo is in a new relationship. We’ve managed to get older in the process.
Our focus has evolved. We have never been an advice column, but we wanted to pass on insights that were hard-won over many years. I find myself less interested in passing on wisdom, finding that I really don’t have much to pass on! George has always been the best story-teller – and he has stayed pretty true to his goal of sharing his life experiences. I’d rather use our writing space to help sharpen my thoughts by putting pen to paper and getting feedback from my buddies.
Geo has a visceral feeling for political issues and has been champing at the bit to introduce them into the blog. While we share some of the same passions, I have no interest in using this space to stake out positions. I’d rather explore new ideas. Other venues can – and should — be used for political commentary. My goal is the ancient Greek ideal of paideia – learning and discourse for learning’s sake.
I’m willing to go with that drift to explore new directions. If I have learned anything in nearly 8 decades, it’s that the harder you try to hold on to something, the more likely it will slip-slide away. So, we three old guys will be two for a while – at least in this writing space.
