The Power of Words

In the last post, Hen raised a question about words: can they result in physical change, perhaps even at the cellular level? I think the answer is yes, emphatically. The words you choose – and the words you choose to remember– not only order your universe, but affect self-concept, physical posture, health, and your general state of being-in-the-world. Words have power.

Humans have recognized the power of words for millennia.  Anthropologists have reckoned that human morphology allowed for expression of words about 135,000 years ago. Some believe that the word itself existed much earlier: at the dawn of creation. “In the beginning was the Word”, says John 1:1. Perhaps, as John wrote, the Word is divine. Perhaps the word is what helped humans form community – “The first human being  who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization” (attributed to Sigmund Freud). Words expressed are powerful, but unexpressed words may be more powerful.

Augustine described the essence of words which remain unexpressed: “For a word is a thought formed from a thing which we know; which word is spoken in the heart, being neither Greek nor Latin, nor of any language, though, when we want to communicate it to others, some sign is assumed by which to express it.” A word is a symbol, a construct, which is known more fully – and has more power – then is easily expressed. Why wouldn’t words have a direct influence inside our bodies?

In my opinion, words kept close in the heart exercise great influence on our physical being. Consider the strength of just one word: “cannot”,  as in ‘I cannot’. This word is more powerful than ‘can’ or ‘will’. ‘Can’ and ‘will’ recognize opportunities, but don’t guarantee achievement. ‘Cannot’ on the other hand, guarantees failure. Sometimes ‘cannot’ is the reasonable assessment. But a lifetime of ‘cannot’s’ clearly shapes choices and its consequences for our physical being.

Personally, a word of power is ‘harmony’. I keep this word at my bedside and look at it each night. I hope the act of writing this word, of contemplating it each night and seeing it each morning, will help me achieve this state more consistently. I view this word as representing a place where the individual and the world intersect peaceably. It is a place of balance, from which actions feel right. ‘Grace’ is another word of power for me, because it recognizes the importance of goodwill  in our lives, where our abilities fall short and ‘cannot’ looms large.

I am sure that my two other Old Guy friends – and you readers as well — have words of power that are held dear. Would you feel comfortable is sharing why those words are important to you?

The Power of Words by Letitia Elizabeth Landon (from poemhunters.com)
‘Tis a strange mystery, the power of words!
Life is in then, and death. A word can send
The crimson colour hurrying to the cheek.
Hurrying with many meanings; or can turn
The current cold and deadly to the heart.
Anger and fear are in them; grief and joy
Are on their sound, yet; slight, impalpable:
A word is but a breath of passing air.

Eat Up!

After reading Wal’s piece I couldn’t figure out a way to respond so I waited to read Henry’s rejoinder hoping I would get some inspiration from it.  That didn’t happen.  I spent one day fretting over how to respond or was this simply over my head.  As we talked about in our last blog words were always important to me but I couldn’t narrow it down to one word that had the kind of significance Wal was talking about.  I understood exactly what he meant and the importance of the word and its significance to his conversations and to his life.  So I pushed the idea aside and went about my usual chores.  I began to clean up my yard, visited some plant places reminding myself that it was really a few weeks too early to put out the petunias because a frost was still possible.  I remember that the safe date for planting outside in our area was Mother’s Day, which is still about 2 1/2 weeks away. With this still on my mind, I got my car washed and vacuumed the inside carefully but Wal’s piece was still encroaching on my mind.  I am rambling because that is how I felt scouring my brain for that one word that had such an influence on me throughout my life.  Enter my dog, Devon.  I always talk to him as if he were a person.  If I am frustrated I sometimes shout at him, if I am scratching my head about something I usually phrase my words as a question that he would answer. Just a little while ago I called him in from outside and when he didn’t respond I went out in the dark with a flashlight to find him munching on what appeared to be a baby squirrel or bunny. Needless to say, my words were not warm and fuzzy. and he sensed my upsetment and has been avoiding me ever since.  But back to the blog, this afternoon around 3 o’clock, which is his and his feline sister’s dinner time, I had prepared their dinners and placed his bowl on his little eating platform.  Devon will not touch his food until I give him the okay to go ahead and eat.  Until then he looks up at me with the whites of his eyes staring at me and looking so damn cute waiting for me to tell him to go ahead and eat.  He is the first dog I ever had where he lets me take his food away from him, I can pull a bone out of his mouth without so much as a growl because he knows I will give them back to him right away.  So he is staring up at me with those big brown eyes surrounded by the whites waiting for me to tell him to go ahead and eat.  He made me smile because he looked so cute so I said, “Devon, mangia!”  He doesn’t understand Italian but he knew what I meant.  It was like being hit over the head with a brick—“Mangia”

 Growing up in a loud Italian family, weekend dinners were always large and loud. We always had antipasto, a lasagna course and then the main dish usually meat and veggies.  None  of us ever learned to speak softly so the table was noisy, laughing, shouting, not yelling cause it was never out of anger, just you had to speak loudly if you wanted to be heard.  Dinner would start with a quick grace, everybody made the sign of the cross, and then from somewhere, usually my grandmother or one of my aunts if it was their table, or my dad if it was our table, would shout, “Mangia!” which was the signal for everybody to dig in.  You could hear the sounds of silverware against the china of the dishes.  Grandma would then go around the table, put her hands on your shoulders and say it again, “Mangia”   No one ever told me what it meant.  I instinctively knew it meant to eat up!.  But really it meant so much more.  It meant LOVE!  To the person who said it, it meant that he/she worked all day in the kitchen to make this for everyone with the best ingredients and the love that went into the preparation.  To those of us sitting at the place settings it meant that we bet it was going to taste good and even if it didn’t we knew the love that went into its creation and would eat it anyway.  We were rarely disappointed.

 As dinner progressed, the volume at the table would rise and fall in waves.  Gramma would every so often navigate around the table looking over at everyone’s dish and comment about the quantity of food on the various plates and if there was too much food there that word would be heard above all the conversation. When she got to me I would hear, “Mangia, what’s a matter you?  You no hungry? You skin and bones, mangia!” and then she would add that she made a little something special for me for dessert.  Mangia was so much more than eat up!

 It was an expression I used with my kids, eating at my brother’s house he would shout, “Mangia!”  It just became part of the family’s vernacular.  If anyone ever said something  like, “Go ahead and eat” we would have frozen in place and wonder when the roof would fall in.  In Italian, mangia means love, the word means eat up, but behind the word is years of relations, families, love, fun, companionship, hugs, cuddles on the couch, a shoulder to cry on, and of course, incredible food!  The concept is so much larger than just its English translation.  It wasn’t a life goal to aspire to but rather a concept that I could keep in my heart and conjure up through my entire body to comfort me and to remember that feeling it  gave me when my grandmother shouted it out. I wanted to be able to bring that same warm comfort feeling to my friends and family too.

 So something that just slipped out of my mouth while talking to my dog made perfect sense to me.  Every meal I ever had as a kid began with that word.  Whenever I heard it amongst the loud shouts and laughter at our dinner table, my mouth would begin to water, I’d pick up my fork and a warm sensation would fill my body with a sense of security knowing that I was lovable enough for someone to tell me to eat up!  I hope my dog realizes that, too..  The next time you sit down to dinner,………”Mangia!

More than Words

Wal eloquently expresses the power of words in his most recent post.  For me, he has captured the essence of their undeniable ability to manifest our thoughts and beliefs.  That words created within our mind and influenced by our hearts, extend beyond their physical written or verbal expression and into the realm of “effective sensory projection”* is my reality.

I also appreciate how Wal, has weighted the power of words in his example of can and cannot.  Truly, if you begin with how and why you cannot do something, what likelihood is there for success?  While there may be some who begin at the lowest point of expectation (without really meaning it) and then make a concerted attempt at accomplishment, they would possibly feel some success even if they only achieved some of the intended goal.  However, Wal’s posit holds true for me in 99% of the cases I can imagine.  And his comparison to “can” which he defines as recognizing opportunity implies that there is a chance, perhaps a good chance, that the momentum from a positive “can do” mentality will yield successful accomplishment.  But this is not a guarantee.  To this point I would argue that “can” and “will” carry more weight than my colleague gives it.  Yes, “cannot” trumps “can” on the scale.  However, I have seen the power of belief in oneself that is so focused and unyielding that walking on fire without harm is accomplished by the very notion of, “I can!”

There is another word that I find to be powerful, but like “cannot” is often limiting.  That word is “try.”  When one sets out to do something and they use as their motivation, “I’ll try” I believe they leave sufficient room for failure.  Knowing it will be an effort with the outcome uncertain telegraphs to the body that the expectation is a possibility not even necessarily a likelihood.  Of course, each of us measures effort with varying degrees of commitment and expectation.  So, your “try” could mean a heck of a lot more dedication to accomplishing the task than someone else’s “try.”  However, I still contend that using the word try instead of will or can, lowers the bar for success by the very nature of the fact that I’m not promising to succeed.

Finally, Wal, gave us his words of power which are deeply meaningful and inspirational to him.  In turn he asks for ours.  Although we hadn’t shared these before we each wrote, I also have two words that I fall back on to keep me moving forward in the direction I feel is right and best for me and one of them is also harmony.  I seek to remember that I am part of everything and everyone around me.  I am part of a much greater whole that, without a reminder, is easy to forget in my day to day interactions.  I often use “harmony” as my mantra when meditating.  I am also devoted to “acceptance.”  Acceptance of what is rather than what I think, should be.  A reminder that my judgements often set me up for disappointment.  My practice is to change my thoughts from, “What in the world was that person thinking?” to “Isn’t that interesting?”

“We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.” Carl Jung

*A phrase originated by Jose Silva as he sought to redefine ESP.