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Choosing Trust

Lately, I’ve been wrestling with the concept of trust — or rather, the lack of it. It feels as though I need to question everything and exercise caution at every turn. This isn’t just a personal observation; it’s a response to a very real and documented pattern. Recent data from 2025 and early 2026 suggests that trust in the U.S. is currently defined by a “descent into insularity.” While trust in specific institutions like local fire departments or small businesses remains high, trust in the national government and mass media has hit historic — or near-historic — lows.

In the past, communication felt authentic. At worst, you might be lured into a timeshare seminar with the promise of a “valuable gift” or pressured to buy a vacuum you didn’t need. Today, the stakes are much higher. Our phones and inboxes are rigged with minefields of digital traps designed to steal personal data and empty bank accounts.

“Truth” has become increasingly subjective. I grew up in the era of Walter Cronkite, when facts felt like solid ground and the words of officials carried weight. Now we operate in an environment of blame, exaggeration, and purposeful misinformation. Even when I hear something that echoes my own beliefs, I find myself questioning it. I no longer take anyone’s word as immediate truth — and that includes media figures and government officials alike.

To add insult to injury, I’m noticing a quiet decline in my own physical and cognitive certainty. When names slip my mind or my agility falters, I realize I’m losing a bit of trust in myself as well.

So what can I do?

Rather than spiraling into hopelessness, I’ve been looking for a way to live constructively in this time of change. Researchers who study trust generally agree that a few basic behaviors help build and rebuild it:

Clarity and intention in your words: Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Consistency and reliability in your actions: “Walk the talk” by ensuring your behavior aligns with your words.
Openness and integrity: Create an environment that genuinely welcomes differing opinions.

I’ve come to realize that the more I wish for others to act with integrity, the more I must embrace being integrous myself. This means being vulnerable — admitting when I’m wrong, acknowledging what I don’t know, and accepting that every person views “the truth” through a unique lens shaped by life experience.

There is a reciprocal nature to suspicion: the more I mistrust others, the more likely they are to view me as untrustworthy. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So what if I flip that dynamic? What if I choose to trust first while remaining open to validating what I see and hear? By leading with a “trust but verify” mindset rather than a “defend and suspect” one, could we create a more confident and reliable environment for everyone?

When we discussed this topic during our Zoom meeting, Wal asked whether this reflection would change my behavior. I don’t think so. Despite trusting others and sometimes being let down — even cheated — over the years, my instinct remains the same: I choose to trust first, unless someone shows me they are not trustworthy, rather than withholding trust until it is earned.

I will likely be more skeptical. I will verify more of my decisions through additional research. But I will continue to begin with the belief that what I hear from others is true — until proven otherwise. It’s a risk, certainly. But in a world of growing isolation, it might just be a risk worth taking.

What’s your relationship with trust?

“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”

– Stephen Covey

A Matter of Trust

Trust – a noun we own and a verb we perform, but usually don’t examine. Trust is like the air around us, part of our essential environment. It is the glue that shapes relationships and societies. Trust fosters cooperation; lack of it leads to isolation and contention. According to psychoanalyst Erik Erikson, trust is one of the first lessons that we need to resolve as infants and is the basis of further healthy development.

Hen raises the point that the ever-expanding channels of information vying for our daily consumption contain wildly varying statements of “truth”. What should we trust? Accuracy is suspect and reposting of derivative or second- hand information is promoted by algorithms designed to gain your attention. Are there “trusted sources” any longer – would we trust an AI Walter Cronkite, for example? Hen’s conclusion is to trust — but verify.

After all, trust has always been conditional. You may know individuals you would trust with your life, but not trust to build a nuclear reactor. Our dollar bill says “In God We Trust”… and perhaps that is the only unconditional bedrock of trust. However, I suspect that many people are more inclined to trust a politician’s pledges, rather than the promise of God’s plan.

I think the choice to trust is simpler than a choice to mistrust. If you don’t believe that, try this simple test: which approach requires more energy, a) trust or b) trust and verify?

Discussing this post with Hen and George has made me realize that I trust because I am sort of lazy. I just don’t want to take the extra steps to verify or directly examine the facts. I’d rather concentrate on some pleasurable activity, than qualify a set of data. I also confess that once I accept a premise, it saves me time and energy in evaluating new information. The worse part, is that I’m likely not alone in this disposition – that’s why our news feeds are filled with items which support our previously established opinions.

It seems to me that much of our decision-making about trust happens in the background — like the autonomic nervous system. That’s why we can make quick decisions (see Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking). Essentially, we’re ‘trusting’ our gut. I keep thinking of that refrain from Billy Joel:

“Don’t wait for answers
Just take your chances
Don’t ask me why”

But Hen elevates the process of trust to the foreground – and he’s right to pay greater attention. In this confusing multiverse, you have to be a reliable steward of the information around you… and to practice being a trustworthy source for others.

Trust Me…..

Trust is an immense topic! Trust can have several meanings and scads of nuances. In the words of 3 American philosophers, Ronald Reagan is quoted as saying, “Trust but verify!” when referring to our position in the international community. Mr Kraftowitz, my Junior High English teacher always used to remind us that, “Trust is earned!” and Siri defines trust as, “A firm belief in reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something!” It is a give and take! If we want people to trust us, we must act in a trustworthy manner. We must stay honest to our word, live up to the goals we set for ourselves and share them consistently with the general public when dealing with others. It seems simple. When we want to trust others, they must show us that they are good to their word and consistently prove to us that they at least try to act in a way that is consistent with factual information. When someone misleads us with information regularly, trust is lost. Excitement about conversations or events can often lead to misinformation because the verifying part is missing. Verification sometimes is time consuming and downright hard work. Our daily schedules are sometimes too hectic for us to have the opportunity to do the research that will verify our information. This is all just common sense.

But we don’t always put our trust in other humans. When I go out in the morning, I trust my car will start up, the heat will warm up my seat, my directional signals will blink when I decide to turn a corner and stepping on the brake will slow my car down and eventually stop if need be. We often put our trust in mechanical things that are expected to function as defined. When I step in an elevator and press the button for the floor I am going to, I trust it will rise and stop at the assigned location because that is what it is entrusted to do. We trust these things to work for us.

We don’t only trust other humans or mechanical things. I trust my dog will bark if a stranger tries to enter my house late at night, or if he has to go out to do his duty. Trust is shared. He trusts that I will put his food dish down with his supper every day, because I have consistently done that for 10 years! He trusts that I will open the door when needed for him to go out and run. Perhaps it is easier to have trust in our family pets. They don’t seem to have trouble with truth as much as humans do.

Therein lies the rub. Verifying is now harder than ever, at least for me. Our country seems to have difficulty trusting what we hear in our newspapers and news programs. Our leaders seem to have trouble with presenting themselves as trustworthy when they say something one day and completely contradict themselves the next. They make promises to improve our lives and then ignore them and do the exact opposite. Our faith and belief in what we are told is destroyed and trust is lost. Unfortunately, in this day and age trust may be one of those virtues that dies a slow death while our means of verification become more and more limited. Artificial Intelligence has contributed to our diminishing trust as well but that is food for thought for some other time.

Identical Harvest

It’s funny how connections are made. Several years ago, the Old Forge Library excessed a series of books, including a twelve-volume set of the Interpreter’s Bible. Heavy duty scholarship: about a thousand pages in each volume, covering various translations and exegesis. It was written in the early 1950’s, so newer editions became available. The whole shebang cost three bucks: so, I bought the set.

Actually, I liked the fact that it was written in the 50’s, featuring a newly postwar-influenced attitude. In reading commentary on Paul’s Letter to the Galatians, the editor made a reference to “identical harvest” in association to the sentiment that ‘you reap what you sow’.

The term stuck with me. A quick internet review brought me to the Law of Identical Harvest – a philosophy described by Neville Goddard through the early 50’s to 1970’s. His work is carried on – and there are several sites/blogs that continue to build on his conceptions, which, in brief, are:

Every thought is a seed that will eventually bloom
What you imagine is projected onto the frame of consciousness that you perceive (‘reality’ is you pushed out to the external world)

Of course, there’s lots more. It is similar to the Law of Attraction – and is basically the ‘reap what you sow’ foundation. However, the approach to dealing with who you are and what you want is one I find appealing. The analogy of your life as a tended garden is congenial. In this context, you can choose what seeds to plant – and if you tend your garden (by constant attention, weeding, and soil preparation) your desired seeds will flourish. Makes sense to me.

What caught my attention is a similar theme featured in an old self-help book I read as a preteen (Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill). Published in 1937. What that book showcased, is that what you believe, you can achieve, but it first challenged you to examine what you truly believe. In that sense, the book focused the reader on the “seeds” that you really wanted to grow. The other similarity to Goddard, is that Hill advocated for writing down an outcome you wished to achieve on a slip of paper each night and placing it by your bedside. It may sound corny, but I’ve found it helpful. Goddard also suggested bedtime is an opportune time to plant a thought-seed that you wish to nurture. Perhaps, the difference between the two is that Hill focused on resolve, while Goddard talks about planting a seed while linking it to it a strong emotion.

We’re in that time when people talk about making resolutions for the new year. Some folks disregard the process as wasted effort, because so many resolutions are quickly discarded. However, Goddard makes a different point: just listing a desired goal results plants a seed – a seed that remains forever! It may not flourish in your garden – it could be crowded out with competing seeds or poor soil preparation – but it does not die. Your life – and your garden — is simply a reflection of all the seeds that you have planted by your imagination and how you have tended the crops.

In that respect, listing your wishes for the new year is essentially planting a new crop for the season. Whether the yield is successful lies in good part on the suitability of the seed for the soil you have prepared and your intention to be a constant gardener. What seeds will you plant this year?

P.S., It’s our custom to discuss our writings among ourselves before publishing. Hen challenged me to list the “seeds” I will be planting… George said two things: a) all this sounded like too much planning and it’s never worked for him b) why can’t we write from the heart and stop quoting authors.

First, for Hen: Actually, right after I posted my draft, I listed my seeds on a small card, which I placed by my bedside table: Harmony, Health, and Prosperity. I will keep focus on those goals this season and see what grows!

Second: I met George 50 years ago in our freshman dorm at college. But you only need to talk with George for 5 minutes to understand that his garden is a bouquet of his former students. Even after a long career in teaching, he meets with them for breakfast and lunches; he keeps I touch by social media. Engagement is his gardening technique and he is all in. Don’t ever believe that he just responds to “Holy Crap, I better do something”. As far as his second admonition not to quote authors – sorry, buddy: “you can’t harvest wheat if all you ever plant is grass seed.” – C.S. Lewis

Sunshine Wishes: Anonymous from tinypoetry.com
In a garden where the sunbeams play, 
Wishes dance on a golden ray. 
Soft and gentle, like a hummingbee, 
Moments of hope, so bright and free.

Close your eyes and take a breath, 
Whisper your dreams, let go of the rest. 
With every wish, the flowers bloom, 
Filling the world with sweet perfume. 
Clouds may gather, but don’t you fret, 
For sunshine wishes are never forget. 
They sparkle and glimmer like stars at night, 
Guiding our hearts with warming light. 

So dream, dear child, and believe in the day, 
With sunshine wishes, find your way.
Wrap your hopes in a soft, warm hug, 
And let the world feel your love, snug as a bug.

Growing Your Garden with Intention

I enjoyed learning about the Law of Identical Harvest as introduced by Wal in his lead post this week. After a short Google search I came upon a rather lengthy online audio explanation from Neville Goddard. It also reminded me of the Law of Attraction which is the belief that what you spend your time and energy on becomes your reality. For example, if you dwell on your bills and debt and lack of finances you will conjure up a life of debt and insufficient money. If you focus your thoughts and energy around living with financial comfort and visualize that scenario then that’s what you’ll have!

What I gleaned from listening to Goddard’s talk about The Law of Identical Harvest is that it’s a thought or idea, once imagined, is created (seeded) and is available to all to be cultivated or not. Each of us is born with this capability. And, cultivated with a singular focus and great intensity, one can reach a spiritual level to achieve a wish or desire beyond even physical limitations or scientific explanation.

While I have read about such accomplishments, I’ve never experienced this ability. However, there are a number of things in my life that have occurred that I either wished for fervently over time or wrote down a future goal with deliberate intention and consistent attention. They were once but a dream or hope with low percentages of coming to fruition – but they did. I am a believer in the notion that we have great influence in achieving what we really desire and that intention, attention, commitment, and a positive attitude works!

Recently, I came upon an article written by Ron Shaich. In the article taken from his book “Know What Matters” he talks about writing a Pre-mortem rather than a New Year’s Resolution at the end of each year. He images his final days or hours, how he struggles to draw each breath and is acutely aware of his impending death. Then, he writes a news story, journal entry or obituary drawing on that hypothetical future. He focuses on his accomplishments and he plans out how to get from his present state to this future version of himself. Then, he chooses what projects he should plan for the coming year. In other words, he goes through an exercise to see what garden he wants to leave when he’s gone and what seeds he needs to plant and cultivate each year to create that garden.

Similarly, Stephen Covey presents his second habit of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” – Begin With the End in Mind – where he also offers a funeral exercise. He suggests we write our own eulogy based on what we would want a representative from our family, our work, our friends, and our religious congregation to say about us when we die. And, as with Shaich’s pre-mortem concept, he then asks us to look back on what we are doing or need to do so that those who know us will indeed see us in that light. He is basically asking if we are planting and nurturing the seeds that will leave behind the legacy we aspire to. And if not, why not start today?

Wal ends with asking us what seeds we will plant this year. Mine, coincidently, is to literally establish an actual vegetable garden on my newish property. I’ve already begun mind-gardening as I envision where it will be placed, how I will build the raised beds, what and how many vegetables I will grow, and how I’ll fence it in. As to more figurative seeds, I see an improvement in my cognitive and physical health through focused attention on healthier behaviors.

“A goal properly set, is halfway reached.” -John Doerr (American Investor and Venture Capitalist)

Spiritual Refuse

I admire Wally and Henry for their scholarly approach to life. No matter what topic we discuss, Wally has read extensively about it sometime in the past. And the very next e mail inevitably is from Henry who just did some research on the topic and found a couple books worth reading about it. That seems to be the way they led their entire lives. While they were reading scholarly works of all the philosophers and scientists, I was reading fiction books. Perhaps I chose that category of books because I always did have a pretty vivid imagination and a total lack of desire to wade through heavy topics in which I had no interest. Actually while they were reading such treatises, I was usually reading children”s literature because one of the things I loved to do was read to my classes but I always read the books first before I would introduce them to my classes. And that is pretty much how I lived my life from early on til recently. While Wally and Henry were discussing growing their garden with intention, my garden was pretty rocky without a neat path to follow. So instead of Growing my Garden with Intention, my philosophy would better be defined as Holy Crap, I Better Make a Decision because what just happened needs to be addressed! Planning ahead for things wasn’t on my dance card. I have always been a reactor more than a planner. My New Years Resolutions were usually never to make New Years Resolutions and for Lent I would give up homework. I would always try to go with the flow, rather than try to figure out where the flow was going to take me and arrange for alternative approaches if the flow didn’t take me where I thought it might. I adopted this philosophy in my teens as a protection from life as I knew it. There were big decisions in those days that had to be addressed. Where was I going to go to college. My parents were pushing for me to attend City College which I didn’t want to do because most of my high school graduating class would be going there. So did I investigate other options? Absolutely not. When the time came to apply I asked a couple of my friends what they were going to do. My friend Norman was going upstate to New Paltz cause his aunt lived there and he said that i should go there too because I could always get a ride home on the weekend with him. My friend Anne was going to Fredonia and she suggested I go there with her but that was a little too far for me at that point in my life. I wrote out 3 applications- one to Queens College, our local city college, one to Fredonia, and one to New Paltz. No plans necessary, it was out of my hands, I would go wherever I got accepted., or so I thought! As the acceptance letters started coming in I made sure I got the mail before anyone else and there it was Queens College, I hid the letter until others came in so for the moment I was safe from parental pressure. Within a week the other two letters arrived and I was accepted at all 3. I had hoped that the decision would have been made for me by two rejections and one acceptance, but no luck. That night was difficult. I wanted to go to New Paltz but I knew my folks were pushing for the local cheaper choice, So I hid the Queens acceptance letter at the bottom of my laundry basket and announced I wanted to go to New Paltz. Norman’s argument that I could go back and forth with him won out. I never told Mom and Dad that i was accepted to City College! They never asked!

Once in college, you have decisions to make all the time. For the first time in my life I was on my own, nobody was telling me what to do or how to do it. All of a sudden I was living with 2 guys I had never met before. So I had to look like I knew what I was doing, what elective courses should I take, what will I major in. In the back of my head I thought since childhood that maybe I would become a veterinarian, but that was just a lazy thought that sat there until junior year was approaching and some decisions had to be made. My brother was a teacher and so was my aunt in Pennsylvania.Decisions were always hard for me and this one was sort of the most significant decision I had to make so far. Time was running out so I signed up for participation in the campus school, a pre student teaching requirement, and I Ioved it. I began to become a little full of myself, thinking things were always going to just fall into place.- not so fast!

So, this is pretty much how I made most of my major decisions in life. Something would happen requiring some kind of immediate decision and when the pressure was on, the decision is made more easily. The old…Holy crap… I better do something about this till worked for me. This approach was used for deciding on my employment, where would I live, should I buy this house. As an adult I have lived in 5 different homes. Each decision to buy a new house was made because of a new situation change that had to be addressed. I never said, I guess I should plan out where I am going to move to next, I’ll make a list and do some research as to where I want to wind up, that never happened. Instead, it was one decision made that would require additional decisions to follow relatively quickly! My brain seems to work best that way and honestly, this helter-skelter approach to decision making has served me well, financially it worked well for me and career wise as well as life in general. The decision to retire arose quickly with my school district and the State of New York deciding that us old geezers who were hired on Tier 1 way back in the 60’s were getting too expensive to keep us all on the payroll. My school district came up with an incentive to retire, a severance package for unused sick days and then the State of New York came up with a retirement incentive just to get us off the payroll. With the district incentive and the state encouragement that decision became easy. It turned out to be perfect for the direction my life was going in at that time. We opened an inn in Vermont, loved doing it, loved meeting people from all over the world. And once again I settled into a lifestyle that provided me with income, excitement, and new contacts all over the US and Europe. The one thing I can never say is that all the decisions made in my life were carefully planned out and executed in a logical, orderly fashion that would set me up for future decisions that would have to be made for me.

All of this has led me to where I am today. Decisions being made today are of a lesser difficulty degree but still depend on unexpected situations that arise. The inn was doing really well, we were number 1 on Trip Advisor for 2 years in a row and we were voted ‘Innkeepers of the Year’ by the State of Vermont Things were smooth sailing until all of a sudden they weren’t. A new development began to spread across the country called Air BnB. They weren’t required to have inspections, insurances, weren’t required to pay hospitality tax to the state and as a result most of us little inns could no longer compete. Our business was no longer able to sustain itself and so the next decision had to be reached. The inn was sold and I headed back to where my kids were in Kingston, NY. I am pretty exhausted right now so I think I will decide to put an end to the musings of one old crazy guy. I really can’t recommend this approach to life for others. I am practical enough to realize many things could have gone terribly wrong but for some reason things fell into place and provided me and my family with an enjoyable, comfortable life. As a kid, I used to deal with disappointment by imagining the worst thing that could happen in a situation. When the situation passed and the resolution was negative I could shrug my shoulders and figure it was what I anticipated. I wasn’t disappointed because it is what i expected to happen. BUT, if the situation resolved itself in a surprisingly positive way I could rejoice in the moment and enjoy the unanticipated favorable resolution. Hey, it worked for me!

I really can’t recommend this approach to life for others. I am practical enough to realize many things could have gone terribly wrong but for some reason things fell into place and provided me and my family with an enjoyable, comfortable life. As a kid, I used to deal with disappointment by imagining the worst thing that could happen in a situation. When the situation passed, and the resolution was negative I could shrug my shoulders and figure it was what I anticipated. I wasn’t disappointed because it is what i expected to happen. BUT if the situation resolved itself in a surprisingly positive way I could rejoice in the moment and enjoy the unanticipated favorable resolution. Hey, it worked for me!