Expanding a Sense of Community

Teresa and I often walk Duke through our neighborhood in the early morning or late evening or both.  Earlier this week, we noticed one of two book sharing station situated between two properties alongside the road.  Much to her surprise, Teresa noticed that a number of books by one of her favorite authors were there for the taking.  As she scanned each one, she made her selection and made a mental note to drop off one or more of the books she already read to replace and enhance this simple neighborhood resource.  At the base of the station was a large dog bowl and a sign that said, “Water for your dog.”

As we continued on our walk we recognized how these simple additions by our HOA contributed to our sense of belonging and a connection to our neighbors.  I wondered what else neighborhoods could offer (with or without an HOA) that would both provide a useful service and add to a sense of community.

A little background about our neighborhood may help clarify why I’m intrigued by this and why I think it’s so important.  We are a collection of about 250 houses on properties ranging from 3/4 acre to slightly over two acres in size.  There is only one road leading in to this almost 30 year old development.  If you drive straight in and keep turning left at the end of each stop sign you’ll find yourself back at the entrance after about 2 miles.  There are 8 side roads off of this main loop, each ending in a cul-de-sac.  It appears to be a mixture of families with older children who have moved out of their childhood homes and some newer families with young children.  There is one small park with a pavilion, several picnic benches, a jungle gym and a set of swings.  Here is also where you will find the other book-sharing station.

When we moved in exactly one year ago, we met the neighbors to our right and the ones across the cul-de-sac.  After a few months, we met the family on our left.  By the end of this first year we know or have spoken at some length to 7 of the 14 families on our street.  Two of the remaining 7 we have exchanged pleasantries and all of the rest we have had occasion to share a wave or two.  To date we enjoy all of them and have had every reason to believe that we could be good neighbors and/or friends.  And yet, in all but one case, we initiated first contact. 

For the last few months I’ve been hosting a weekly card game at my house and 3 of my neighbors are regular attendees.  One of them is separated from my next door neighbor by one house and both have been here for over 20 years and yet they had never met until they came to my house for cards.  

It seems to me that sometimes people will take advantage of opportunities to connect with others (their neighbors for example) but for a host of reasons, don’t otherwise initiate them.  Thus, my notion that coming up with ways for people to easily share with each other might also provide opportunities for them to connect with each other.  And, when people are connected over things they have in common, their immediate world becomes a gentler, more negotiable, and happier place to live.

As Teresa and I wondered about how we might expand the book-sharing station notion, we came up with a few ideas.  What if we offered, at the neighborhood park, the following:

• a mini farmer’s market area at our park for those of us who have vegetable gardens and an overabundance produce to give away?
• evening concerts throughout the warmer months?
• a monthly food vendor event?
• raised garden beds for those who wanted to garden but didn’t have the space or know how to begin?
• a request for volunteers to leave a water dish at the foot of their driveway for dogs during their walks with residents?
• a doggy bag and waste can at key corners and establish a volunteer group of dog owners to maintain them on a shared basis?
• a community service volunteer squad to whom members in need could turn to for assistance?

These ideas for further creating a sense of community may be specific to my situation.  Are there similar needs and possible ideas for yours? for ours?

“Because Amelia smiles as she skips down the street, her neighbor Mrs Higgins smiles too, and decides to send some cookies to her grandson Lionel – in Mexico.”    – David Ezra Stein

Building Community

When we have had new neighbors, my wife invariably makes a baked product to bring over and welcome the new-comer. We live on a busy county route – it’s not readily walkable and there’s reduced opportunity for backyard fence conversations, due to geographical barriers. The ‘welcome wagon’ effort is typically a one-off, but sets an expectation of friendly behavior going forward. There’s not much to define a neighborhood in this setting.

Likewise, our hamlet does not have a commercial center other than a small convenience store next to a post office. However, there are still opportunities to create interactions both spontaneous and strategic.

Twenty years ago, Linda was the highway superintendent for our town. Seeing the need for a walkable community she advocated for accessibility changes to our historic Main Street and connections to an abandoned railway corridor. Partners in the effort, I chaired a committee to create a Main Street masterplan with sidewalks, crosswalks, and solar lighting, while Linda worked with the State Department of Transportation to gain approval to build a walking trail along the rail corridor.

We both suffered some disappointments in achieving support. The DOT approved the rail trail plan but withheld the funding, due to the lack of an established “destination” at either end of the walkway. Undeterred, Linda got permission to lease the land from the state and during lulls, she trained new employees on heavy equipment by bull-dozing a path along the corridor and used her contacts to repurpose grindings from another state project to set a base for this new walkway.

I was able to find funding through a separate NYS senate member grant, which allowed Linda to pave the entire 2.2-mile path through our village. As they say: “Build it and they will come…” We had an instant ‘boardwalk’ for the community to exercise, walk, jog, rollerskate, or bike – and just as important: to encounter one another. We built berms along the trail and encouraged families and businesses to adopt a berm with plantings and flowers.

In the first year, there were 80,000 person-visits to this trail. It had become its own destination! The parking lots were expanded. Boy Scouts constructed benches and an exercise station along the path; the Lions Club built a gazebo. We established a town committee to oversee the trail and its maintenance. Local and State government cooperated and helped plant wildflower sections on the path, interpretive signage, and doggy-stations. Twenty years later, our trail has just been linked to another trail section which proceeds through the city of Kingston as well as corridors to nearby towns in the other direction – a continuous length of over 38 miles.

Now, this is a success story with a caveat: plan for a lifecycle of use and involvement. The results were clearly worth the effort. However, the residents now see the trail as an entitlement, which government should maintain with tax dollars. I happen to agree with this conclusion, but the initial grassroots ownership has faded a bit as we have aged and the overhead of maintaining the trail and its niceties has increased. Hen’s efforts to bolster a geographic community is not too dissimilar to our rail trail story. Building community relationships is a worthwhile investment, but plans need to consider what happens after the initial blush of enthusiasm, so that the idea can be sustained through the dynamic of changes in personal commitment and population change.

The Community: Vera Sidhwa from poemhome.net

I needed you and you were there.
You helped so many unaware.
Community, you’re my favorite way,
To work, celebrate and play.

To work is your major goal,
But together in an effort major.
I believe in you community.
You are absolutely believable.

Working in a community is wonderful.

Community

Eight years ago, after teaching elementary school for 35 years and then immediately on to my next career of inn keeping, which I did for almost 15 years, I finally retired.  Not knowing how not to work, I began reading all the old peoples’ magazines and stumbled upon an article in the AARP Magazine.  The headline read something like Ten Ways to Live a Long and Fulfilling Retirement.  Just what I was looking for, some magic potion to keep me going.  I settled down in my comfortable rocking chair and began reading this interesting article.  It wasn’t what I expected.  It listed the ten most important activities for seniors to do to live longer and enjoy life, with number 1 being the most important.  I don’t remember most of them but I was certainly surprised when I discovered that a healthy diet and physical activity were not numbers 1  and 2 on the list.  As a matter of fact they came in like 6 and 7.  The number 1 thing for seniors to do is to keep an active social life, cocktail parties, dinners, social events in the community and the like.  I really liked that cause I crave being around people and enjoying their company.  It came naturally to me after two careers where I dealt with people all day long.  Number 2 was equally as surprising–  belonging  to a community where your involvement is important to the group, giving you a reason to show up and maintain your responsibility to the group.  They used the example of a chorus, where your voice is necessary for the blend of sounds it is trying to create. I liked that almost as much as number 1!

When Henry came up with the topic of “Community” I immediately checked the definition of community with Siri’s help. A community is a group of people living in the same place or having things in common.  Additionally it can mean a fellowship of people with common interests or likes.  Naturally, I started thinking about the communities that I belonged to and what my contributions were to them.  I looked back and counted the communities I used to belong to, model railroading groups, Barbershop choruses, as well as some professional communities as well.  As for the present my communities aren’t quite as well defined but there are several that I participate in regularly.    Naturally there is my neighborhood.  I refer to it as the geriatric ward of Port Ewen as everybody in  a two block radius of my corner is over 65.  I believe it is a requirement of the Real Estate brokers to prequalify people moving into our community by checking their birth certificates.  And it is a great community.  We get together for great activities (our meeting room is in the middle of the street) like seeing why the State  Troopers are at Mrs. Reynold’s house or Central Hudson is replacing poles. We all but take attendance as there is no requirement to attend.  But if someone has a problem in their yard or house right away several neighbors are there to help out. It is a comforting feeling  and that is what a community is supposed to provide for its members.

Another community I belong to is my Old School Community.  This community is a little different as it invites people of various ages.  Previous students and former teachers in my school gather about once a month for a luncheon to catch up with each others’ lives and to see what our students became- a very fun and rewarding activity.  That old saying, “You can take the teacher out of the school but you can’t take the school out of the teacher,” rings true.  I was in the  same school for 35 years and at the time, our school,  the community we served, the parents and the kids were all part of that very important community with an important valuable job to do.  Most of our luncheons involve reminiscing about things that happened 25 years ago, but those things were important and put smiles on our faces.  What good is a community if it can’t make you smile?

I also belong to the Italian American Community in Ulster County.  We have dinners, provide kids of Italian descent with scholarships, have guest speakers, provide trips to the homeland, and donate time and money to other various communities around the area.  I love the dinners because it reminds me of the Sunday dinners at my grandmother’s house in Queens where 15 or 20 family members would arrive for feeding time at the zoo.  These dinners today are fun because they take me right back in time, people speaking loudly, laughter, Italian expressions and a lot of hands waving around.  It brings me right back to my grandmother’s dining room table.  We wouldn’t fight at the table but  our voices were raised in order to be heard, and usually to tell gramma you were stuffed and couldn’t eat another bite.

Now I debated including this community.  I don’t know anyone’s name but they always bring a smile to my face.
I own a 2018 Jeep Wrangler and have 14 rubber duckies on my dashboard left  on my door handle from people from all over and always anonymously. This community is a huge group of Jeep Wrangler drivers who basically  attack while you are in the store shopping, only to come out and see the little rubber ducky proudly crunched into the door handle.  I don’t know why it works or how, but it immediately puts you in a good mood and then you are obligated to park near the closest Wrangler and put one of yours on their door handle.  Silly? yup.  But it always works, and right now in this world there isn’t too much to laugh about.